A few days before it happened, I was very restless. My right eye didn't stop twitching. People said, you were going to cry. I know I will not have a chance to tell you THE TRUTH, so I just write it here. Though I know you will never read it because I will never tell you anything about this blog.

Saturday 27 Feb: I knew that it was time for me to explain. But I was too afraid. I could not sleep. But I did manage to sleep after touching your shoulder. The same thing I did even we had quarells. Only by touching you, I could sleep.

Sunday 28 Feb: I went out jogging to calm myself down. I did not know what sort of explanation I could use as a gun. When I was jogging, I found myself crying. Because I knew, our marriage was over. I stopped by at one quiet Kedai Mamak in Subang Bestari and sat down there for half hour. Darling, I really did not know what to tell you.

Then it happened. When I printed out the balance slip, I just thought maybe I could lie to you, that the money was transferred to my account in Indonesia. Maybe, if I could use it as an excuse, you would had just asked me to transfer it back.

I predicted if you hit me, I was ready for that. You punched me, I was prepared for that. But your reaction was beyond my imagination. Your anger was uncontrollable. You divorced me on the spot and threatened to kill my son. I ran to Giant to buy 2 suitcases and stopped a taxi. On the way home, you did not stop harassing me, yelling at me and threatening to hurt my son. And all the things I said was "Don't. I will return the money. Just don't hurt my son. I never did that to your sons."

I called my son to run to Kedai Aceh. I picked him up then we went to Damansara. We sat there, trying to get help from friends. Again, you did not stop harassing me. I kept all your sms'.

You chased me and my son out of the house. You called him "Pig Face Chinese Son." I never called your sons "Filipino bastard child." I tried not to get angry by your sms', because I knew you would twist all the things I said. But I am only a human, I got aggravated and asked you to see yourself before harassing me. That what you and your ex wife did was LUST, living together for 22 over years. And I had been a good wife, while all your ex wife did was sex, gamble and party (which later, as I already predicted, was twisted by you when you badmouthed me in front of your son. You did not tell them how you harassed me, didn't you?)

A help came from Irina. She brought me to our house to pack my stuffs. I only grabbed whatever I could see. You said you would burn everything left. I left all the things you asked: our marriage certificate, house tenancy agreement and the gold necklace you bought for me.

We went to another friend's house in Nilai. She took me to LCCT to buy ticket. It was so expensive. RM920 one way, for 2 passengers. I used my salary. I had to buy it, or else you would have a chance to find me and kill my son. I asked her to stop me at whatever cheap hotel near Brickfield. So it was easier for me to go to LCCT from KL Sentral.

You did not stop harassing me:

- Bitch, I want back my money and if not, you will face the consequences. Get out of my house and if I don't get the money tomorrow, I will make police report on you and cancel your visa at immigration.
- Remember you bitch. If tomorrow by 9am, if you don't return the money, the police report will be lodged and with the report I will immediately make sure you are arrested and deported. Have already inform my cop friend. This is serious and not a usual threat.
- I will also send email to Imman tonight to sack you immediately. I will tell him that if not, I will report him to immigration also.
- I already throw my sial wedding ring on the highway. I want you to leave the marriage cert and the gold chain I gave you. YOU CAN TAKE ANYTHING WHICH BELONG TO YOU. If you leave anything back, it will be burned.
- You get out today or I won't wait till tomorrow but will lodge police report today itself.
- Dont want to hear about your motherfucking fater. If tomoorrow there is no money, there will be no mercy for you and your son. When I come back to the house, I want you and your son out by then or I will not even wait till tomorrow but will make police report on you today for criminal breach of trust. I HATE YOU THAT MUCH BITCH. Anyway this will be the ground for divorce. PLS GET OUT TODAY, I DONT WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AND YOUR SON'S FACE ANYMORE AGAIN.
- Final warning. If I dont get my money tomorrow. POLICE REPORT WILL BE LODGED AND BOTH YOUR VISA WILL BE CANCELLED. TAKE NOTE!
- That's your problem INDON MONEY GREEDY AND DISEASED BITCH. U dont want to know, by 3pm today you must get out of my house. I hope your and your son die.
- Just give back my money. I don't care if you die, bloody money greedy bitch. MUSUH DALAM SELIMUT. Get out by 3pm or the situation will be unimaginable.
- Hey punda bitch, dont u dare call me by HON. Dont aggravate me, just get out of my life and return my money.
- Your family is a pariah and you. I dont care if you die with your son but I am filing for divorce tomorrow and dont sms me again. I WANT MY MONEY AND YOU OUT MY LIFE FOR GOOD.
- Leave my passport and surat nikah. I need it for my divorce process tomorrow.
- Oi pukima, you better immediately take YOUR PUKIMA CHIBAI SON OF YUORS out of my house before I wallop him. I hate to see his ugly pig face.
- Do it now. When I come back at 3pm, I dont want to see both of you. Dont want to see any of your things either and I will burn everything. I CURSE YOU AND YOUR SON IN THE NAME OF GOD. Thats how much I hate both of you bloody indon money swindlers.
- On further though, in consideration of the 4 years being with me and knowing you are cursed to die soon, I will give you RM7000 as sedekah and the balance of RM15,000 return it to me tomorrow. I will give the divorce papers asap to sig.
- Dont thank me you indon dog. When it comes to money you all will prostitute yourself. Thats how you are all brought up without any principles. Anyway, I never did trust you cos I knew all the while you were a mata duitan. I feel relieved now. GOOD RIDDANCE PEREMPUAN SIALAN.
- Oi pukimak indon. LEAVE THE HOUSE TENANCY AGREEMENT * MAYBANK A/C FOR RENTAL.
- I have already informed my children on your evil deeds and my decision to get rid of you. So dont bother talking to contact them cos they also were aware that you were an evil person.
- You remember that you told JULITA to die in her moment of suffering? Deep in my heart I know you said to her although you denied it. You will horrendously suffer for your sins and you will live to see your only son suffer and die a horrible death in front of your eyes. You dont know the power of Christ yet. You will pay for your sins before you die. You made me desert Jesus and I am returning to him.
- Again and again you keep on lying. Anyway, you are at a disadvantage cos I have the ultimate authority to cancel both your visa and if I decide to do that, then you must exit Msia immediately. The divorce will go smoothly, it is a separate issue. If my money is returned tomorrow, you can stay in the country and I will sign the necessary forms in April. If I dont get the money, I will make sure you are sent to detention centre before deportation. No mercy will be shown to my enemies.
- Another thing, tell your bastard worthless father not to call me cos he is one of the reason I am divorcing you. Reason is cos he try to interfere with my children's religion and my EPF. I CURSE THE BASTARD TO DIE TERRIBLE DEATH. Motherfucker he cannot even bring up his bitch daughters properly but want to teach others about life. Stupid idiot he is and also your dead mother was a money parasite. GOOD RIDDANCE.
- Hey bitch dont be pathetic. I dont care, I will give you until 4pm tomorrow. After that if no money then I will proceed to destroy you and your son. you got to pay for your dishonesty bitch. Stop giving excuses.
- Pelacur sialan. Sudah kau dan anak sial kau itu dah keluar dari rumah saya ke ? CEPAT KELUAR SUNDAL SIAL.
- No need for you to come back to the house again anymore. I will pack whatever remaining things belonging to you and send it to Solingen tomorrow. From now on I am no more your husband and I officially divorce you with 3 talks. Wish you the best.

Then your anger started slowing down...

- You really hurt me very deep cos I trusted you more than my own children. Your greatest betrayal was transferring the money without my knowledge allthought I had told you that you need to inform me if you want to withdraw the money. I know that my life will not be long so I wanted to monthly bank in money for your security and not intended for me at all. How selfish you are cos I never cared for myself but you came first. Is this how you repay me?
- As long as you want to stay here, I will sign the visa document cos I am not cruel but I cannot accept you back again cos you betrayed my trust. Whatever excuse is not acceptable. ANyway, let me know when the money had been transferred tomorrow. You can also come tomorrow and take your things cos I will be shifting out next week.
- I know that if I divorce you at JAIS office then your vice will automatically be canceled. So for humanitarian reasons, I wont do that so you can stay and earn a living and Ah Chai can school here.
- You can come and take whatever barang such as micro, tv, etc etc. I dont mind.
- You take a good care of yourself.
- I will be there at UM hospital for you check up in May. Give me the appointment details.
- When you come back and if you want, I will you and Alif a flat to stay, if you agree.

Then I decided that I did not want to come back to Malaysia. I wanted to live in my country. But you pleaded that I changed my mind. You persuaded me to stay.

- I am so sorry you want this to ended up this way. Pls dont send him back to school in Indon. Let him school here and I wont intrude in both of you lives. Every year, I will just sign the legal papers and I wont come into your life. Just let the boy continue his studies here. I promise not to hurt him or you. Dont destroy his life and I still care cos he is innocent. Pls consider my request.
- We cant resolve anything. We remain separated and I will support you monthly so that you can save up for rainy days.
- You are just assuming that I hate your son and that I am against you sending money to your father. Tell me did I ever ask you what you do with your salary? About your son, I dont hate him but the way you pamper and spoil him, is what I dont like. Remember what U did to ALBERT, cos later on in life I dont want to regret for my screw up.

What did you do to ALBERT? What ALBERT did until I had to bash Alif up? Albert stole things, dont you forget that? Did Alif steal things? Albert went out merayau sampai pukul 3 pagi. Did Alif do the same thing? Did Alif yell back at me or you everytime we scoled him just like what Albert did to us? You told Albert not to go out with his friends to the beach. He still go. Did Alif do the same things?

Tell me.... what Alif did until I had to hit him? He is only 13 for God sake! You did not know I was angry and yell at him every time I entered his room. Because if I did that in front of you, you would say "Kenapa marah-marah sama budak itu???" He made his homework without me asking him. He knew what was his responsibility but yes his room was like just being ransacked. That was why I always scold him.

At night, I had fever. I didn't manage to eat. My son was restless and he did not want to go. I could not cry in front of him. But when he was asleep, I cried so hard from pleading to God to give me a way.. so God would touch your heart..

Monday, 1 March: I went to our house at 9am in the morning because you said I could come back to get some stuffs that I had not brought along. But when I reached there, you car was still in the parking lot. Suddenly, I received your sms that you still want the money and that the pad lock had been changed. You said I COULD COME BACK AND TAKE MY THINGS but you changed the pad lock for security reason you said. I replied "No need to say sorry. It's something you have to do."

I told you that I would fly to Jakarta on the 2nd of March. The truth was, I flew on the 1st of March. Not to lie again, but to calm you down. If you knew that I went off on 1 March, it might aggravate you.

Later on, I knew that my decision to go to Indonesia on 1 March was a mistake. Cos at night, I received your sms that you regretted what you had done and begged me to come back home. That you didn't want the money again, that I could take all the money with me. All you wanted was I came back home.

Honey.. I was in Indonesia already when you pleaded me to come back. God, if I were still in Malaysia, I would have come home and be with you... even kiss your feet to say sorry..
posted by DHS