Today is 10 April 2010, almost 2am in the morning and I am still awake. I don't know how long I will go like this. I don't want to prolong but I cannot control my heart. I miss you so much and everyday, it's getting worse.

I am still waiting for the job reconfirmation. Until today, the guy hasn't called me back. Said he wanted to talk to his boss on my salary then would call on the day I can start. On the other hand, I got an interview call from Cyberjaya to be IT helpdesk for HP. They interviewed me on the phone and seemed quite satisfied. They planned to put me for Australian market. It's a shift job and since it follows Australia time, I might start to work as early as 4am. How can I take the job....

My main problem beside getting a job, is my Pass. This year is the last extension you want to help. Next year, you don't want to help. Honey, you're not a man you're always proud of. A man who kotakan janji. But I guess, who am I to demand...

You asked my integrity to return the money in amount you demanded. I have proven my integrity. But you haven't. I didn't have trust and faith in you and you begged me to have a little trust and faith in you. When I did, you have failed me again.

If our relationship gets better one day, and if you want us to be together again.. I don't know what to answer. You maki saya perempuan sundal, pelacur, pukimak, indon money greedy, I have forgiven and forget.

But I know for sure, you can repeat the same thing and ruin my life once again...

P.S: Did you know honey, Alex told me he misses me and Alif.. and my cooking. Do you also? I cook everyday for me and Alif. Yeah where to buy food? I have no car, can't drive. I and Alif laugh and are moving on. It's quiet in the house but we can manage well.

I do not know what situation it is in your house... with you're drunk every night..
posted by DHS