Alif came back from school sick. He said around 3pm, he felt dizy and cikgu asked him to lay down. He went off to sleep without taking shower and eating his dinner.

I cleaned my toilet when you sms'd me. I did not hear. You sms me said you didnt have time to bank in the money so you would come to my place and gave it by hand. You did ask Alif to go out and collect.

I knew, if I went out to see you, you'd be angry. But seeing Alif's sleeping, I didn't have a heart to wake him up. His body was very warm but he felt cold. I dared myself to go out.

I saw you. I was happy.. though you left in rush and without saying anything.

You gave an envelope and nasi pattaya. I assumed it was for Alif, not for me. I went inside, and Alif called me. I told him, "Dad bungkus nasi pattaya buat Alif." He got up, brushed his teeth, changed his cloth and ate the nasi pattaya. He said "Dad datang?"

Honey, if only you knew how much he missed you...

He complained his throat was hurt everytime he swallowed food or water. I told him I would bring him to see doctor tomorrow. I would go by bus. He said he did not want to. Too weak to wait for bus. I told him I would try to get help from Cik Ain tomorrow. He ate the nasi pattaya half, and the other half he put in the fridge. He said "Buat sarapan besok. He really likes nasi pattaya and you know.

His body was still warm. I gave him panadol to eat. That was the only medicine I had.

An hour after, Alex sms me, said he couldn't stand to live with you anymore. You were always drunk everynight and scold him and Albert, tried to find mistake so you could release your anger on them. Alex wanted to rent a room outside. He hates you. And soon, Albert will leave you as well. Albert already said that to Alex that he will leave soon. Alex said he wanted to forget everything. His girlfriend has left him because she thought Alex did not want to engage with her. It wasn't the reason. The reason was Alex did not know how to tell her and her family about HIS FATHER.

After that, I received your sms to meet at the imigration on the 13th. And that will be the last extension. You said you did not care if I die and wanted me to get out of your life.

Why? Was it because you met me? Why did you destroy your own family..... For the sake of YOUR EGO?

And on top of all, WHY ARE YOU DESTROYING YOURSELF???
posted by DHS